apparently everyone needs tuition

Singapore is a "tuition nation" as there are expectations and the need to excel and achieve. There is also the fear and shame of being in a worse class, stream or school. There is the belief that education is the only ticket to success and happiness in life, and maybe rightly so, because society is structured in a way where the quality and property of education are primed and prioritised.

Because having good grades is of a certain priority, parents indulge in the belief that having tuition will be a means to helping them and their children to attaining success. It also does not help that we are a society that is obsessively result-oriented due to the way the economy is structured.

We have become obsessed with the prestige that accompanies having good grades - good school, better friends and social environment, good scholarship and good professional opportunities. Who doesn't want that?

My question is this. Why do we want it? Is our self-worth measured by how others see us? Why is our esteem intertwined with socio-economic structure?

I believe the sole purpose of having tuition is so that one would eventually not require it. Many will point the finger at unreasonable parents who indulge in such beliefs and practices, who make the final decision as to whether their child would require tuition or not. I say society is the problem, not parents.

If our education system was not competitive, would there be a need to "up the ante"? Would there be a greater fear of failure?

Students themselves are not wanting to have accountability and responsibility for what they learn. I have heard of students complaining about how bad or poor a certain teacher is, or how useless a tutor is. They blame bad grades on these mentors. "I failed my science because my teacher isn't good enough!"

Having tuition lessons is not conformity, but having good grades is. It is the society and usually those in power, that decide what are the "subjects" for our "examination". In the Singaporean syllabus, the most important subject is education, not to mention monetary and material success. Sports and the arts are just extra-curricular activities that hold no weightage.

We thus see having tuition lessons as a necessity. It has become an accessory that few have come to question its true purpose. Many believe having tuition lessons will translate to good grades. We are a society of flawed logic and methodology - believing in cause-and-effects. For example, more ERP gantries will lead to lesser traffic congestions. Why is this like that? Why have society come to think this way?

In having the belief that tuition lessons are integral to one's development, we have become a mechanism of discipline ourselves. We effect a certain behaviour, a certain mindset, all aimed towards a specific and desired outcome. Our over-dependence on tuition lessons is not a problem on its own, but a manifestation of societal norms and expectations.

I believe we should seek help for any expectation we have. At the same time, we should at least try to regulate our expectations. I have seen children with tuition for all subjects, have 2 extra co-curricular activities in school, piano lessons and some other sporting lessons or courses outside school. It seems that the society and families are trying to engineer an all-rounded child.

As for tuition, I think we should have it so that we would need to have it. The purpose of tuition is to fill gaps, instill confidence and achieve realistic goals within the current ability of the child.

Moreover, most tuition lessons reproduce a top-down mode of communications between mentor and student. I believe they should be geared towards creating an interest in the student in asking questions and developing that passion and responsibility for learning. Tuition lessons should teach one how to fish, not only just give you the fish.